My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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