I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize