I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
