Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
