he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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