i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
