the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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