one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Randomize
