Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
