I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
my phone needs a breathalizer
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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