some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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