marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
