It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
