im about as happy as oj after his trial
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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