Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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