Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
