Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize