his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
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