We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
