I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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