it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
