So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
