belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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