We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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