I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
