I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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