BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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