Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
