Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
