I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just blew my weed a kiss
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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