"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
