ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
