Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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