I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
