Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize