I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
