I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
