She said her name was "party"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
