Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
