saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
