she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
