You can't motorboat a personality
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We have started to decorate penises.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
