Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
