No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
