You just made me feel so damn special
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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