Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
he fucked my hip out of place.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
