He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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