and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
