Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
