you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
