gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
