I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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