i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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