There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
