Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
