I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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