Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize