It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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