why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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