the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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