WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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