and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
