in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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