Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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