I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
This is not my ceiling
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
