fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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