McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
