The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
