Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
