Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
