he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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