As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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