if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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