we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
as a side note pls kill me
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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